"How did you celebrate your birthday?" .... errrr, I went to work and had an extra bit of chocolate from the vending machine?
The thing about birthdays -- and most other major calendar events e.g. New Year's Day -- passing me by mostly uncelebrated is there is no forced evaluation of where I am in my life (more than normal anyway) hence no feelings of regret/disappointment when I realise a year has passed and certain aspects of my life still aren't "up to scratch".
When you're one of those people who can't switch their minds off, life planning is for a quiet weekend or impromptu lunch time walk, not so?
Showing posts with label weird me. Show all posts
Showing posts with label weird me. Show all posts
Saturday, March 20, 2010
Sunday, February 14, 2010
On 'Psychic Vampires'
I was going through the list of meet-ups (on Meetup.com) for Glasgow and eventually came upon a Satanists' meetup.
It held my interest because I have been here less than a year in Scotland, where the people are so much more sociable, community-minded, personable -- and talkative, boy are they talkative -- than the English, especially Londoners, and lo and behold, here is a group that stands for none of these things. And it's weirdly thrilling.
Don't get me wrong. I like that I can just talk to the odd stranger more easily than I could in London. I am timid enough that it -- subconsciously -- comes as a major relief that people don't abuse me or ignore me when I reach out. My conversations don't last that long anyway!
But the 'payback' comes when the odd stranger starts talking to me ... and then finally at me, about every last detail and worry and problem in their heads, while I nod and smile and try to 'put myself in their shoes'. Here this happens more often than you would think, and I don't think I'm used to this as yet. When I am the one that doesn't want to engage, it's hard to say 'no'. Perhaps it was this permissive nature that allowed one member of the group to comment that he's "self-less to a fault and [has been] especially susceptible to psychic vampires in the past".
And now I find myself wanting to read Anton LaVey's bio, if not his book .
Whether I want to join the group (of individualists!) … probably not.
It held my interest because I have been here less than a year in Scotland, where the people are so much more sociable, community-minded, personable -- and talkative, boy are they talkative -- than the English, especially Londoners, and lo and behold, here is a group that stands for none of these things. And it's weirdly thrilling.
Don't get me wrong. I like that I can just talk to the odd stranger more easily than I could in London. I am timid enough that it -- subconsciously -- comes as a major relief that people don't abuse me or ignore me when I reach out. My conversations don't last that long anyway!
But the 'payback' comes when the odd stranger starts talking to me ... and then finally at me, about every last detail and worry and problem in their heads, while I nod and smile and try to 'put myself in their shoes'. Here this happens more often than you would think, and I don't think I'm used to this as yet. When I am the one that doesn't want to engage, it's hard to say 'no'. Perhaps it was this permissive nature that allowed one member of the group to comment that he's "self-less to a fault and [has been] especially susceptible to psychic vampires in the past".
And now I find myself wanting to read Anton LaVey's bio, if not his book .
Whether I want to join the group (of individualists!) … probably not.
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