... it's realising most of your social life is actually centred around work (or your work location) and your work colleagues.
I do have more friends/family on the net than IRL (in real life), owing to the fact that none of them live here in the UK. But here's the problem: with online friends you can receive encouragement, validation, a word to cheer you up, from your friends on the 'net, but once the screen flicks off, you're alone again.
I didn't realise I had to actually put in the work of making friends and going to social events, what with my near-crippling shyness and all (so for me yeah, it does feel like work). Stuff does happen, friends get made, but I am not your standard hard-drinking, hill-walking, football-loving fella so I guess even in friendly Scotland, "getting a life" a.k.a. freeing yourself of the work circle of "friends" (workplace friends are not really your friends) does take time and effort.
Saturday, May 28, 2011
Sunday, February 20, 2011
Owner, Group, World...
Years ago, in my endless quest to become a more fun person, I found a group of really fun people in London. In this case I met them through a friend some years ago. And almost all of them speak Spanish, and know many Spanish and Latino customs.
I don't know why I thought I could fit in with the group -- as far as speaking Spanish I was struggling but doing fairly well in my opinion. But there were always going to be other things, from in-jokes, to things expected of house guests, that I would miss. At best it would cause me some awkwardness and a little isolation in an otherwise cracking multi-party conversation; at worst I would lose a few friend-acquaintances over perceived rudeness and ingratitude.
But lacking a 'posse' where I live (and lived in London), they were probably the closest thing I had to such. I've tried it a couple times before and have always felt a little odd -- not blogging as much as the rest, not geeking out as much as the rest, not drinking as much as the rest, not having Nepali as my first language, and so on.
Well, sure, posses aren't for everyone. But I still do feel 'left out' when I see groups (and that particular one as well) having a great time on (where else) Facebook. Almost rubs it in my face that I can't seem to get it right in a 'group setting' at all, with the -- almost sad -- exception of probably work.
Next thing they'll say it's the 21st century and IRL posses are over-rated...
I don't know why I thought I could fit in with the group -- as far as speaking Spanish I was struggling but doing fairly well in my opinion. But there were always going to be other things, from in-jokes, to things expected of house guests, that I would miss. At best it would cause me some awkwardness and a little isolation in an otherwise cracking multi-party conversation; at worst I would lose a few friend-acquaintances over perceived rudeness and ingratitude.
But lacking a 'posse' where I live (and lived in London), they were probably the closest thing I had to such. I've tried it a couple times before and have always felt a little odd -- not blogging as much as the rest, not geeking out as much as the rest, not drinking as much as the rest, not having Nepali as my first language, and so on.
Well, sure, posses aren't for everyone. But I still do feel 'left out' when I see groups (and that particular one as well) having a great time on (where else) Facebook. Almost rubs it in my face that I can't seem to get it right in a 'group setting' at all, with the -- almost sad -- exception of probably work.
Next thing they'll say it's the 21st century and IRL posses are over-rated...
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
